Ahh, the dreaded follicle test, how evil you are.
Not many drug tests can strike fear into the heart of a marijuana user like a hair follicle test, eclipsed in awfulness only by a blood sample submission. One may venture so far as to say, perhaps, it may be the TOUGHEST DRUG TEST TO PASS, EVER!
Is it even possible to pass a hair drug test? Yes, and in just a bit we’ll tell you about:
Two Methods That Pass A Hair Test
But first we must ask the real question, which is: are you prepared to do what it takes to be successful? Do you have the ambition and drive to do what others won’t? Is your pending employment application worthy of all of the steps you need to take in order to fulfill the required hair drug test?
If you are answering yes, then first let us take a little journey into what actually comprises the test…
The problem with this type of test is that it is very accurate at detecting all of the narcotics that you’ve ever put into your body, so long as that you have never, ever cut your gorgeous hair.
But fear not, young drug user…
Assuming that you aren’t one of those weird people that has never placed shears to your darling locks, you probably only have the last few years (or months) of drug use evidence.
How Far Back Are Drugs Detectable By A Follicle Test?
Or, more importantly, how much drug info are you carrying on your library of a scalp? The answer lies within the rate of hair growth, which is normally one half inch per month. Or six inches per year. Or five feet per decade.
If the last time you inhaled or ingested a narcotic substance was one year ago, but your hair is only 3 inches long presently, you should be able to disco dance your way through the lab and straight into your ‘crazy ass, hair follicle test doling out, super strict place of employment’ … or ‘trippin ass parents’.
However, if you are not a lucky short-haired person who hasn’t done any illegal drugs recently, you may have to resort to some ‘on the verge of insane’ tactics.
We’re Not Talking About Shaving Your Head, Pal
You thought it would be so simple? Ha, No luck here, unfortunately.
Shaving your head doesn’t necessarily give you an advantage because the lab tech conducting the loathsome follicle submission will find a spot to get what they need. They may request that you submit from an area that you are not expecting, and you can’t really rule out any spot, just use your imagination on the depths that they will venture to collect your sample. They will need a minimum of a half inch, so even if you dare to shave your entire body, you will just get sent home for a ‘did not submit’. Not exactly the result you would like on this type of drug test.
So How Do We Pass A Hair Test?
Ok, so 2 methods are well documented as having success at passing the test, and we’ll start with the most successful:
Or as I like to pronounce it: Blechh (it’s important to make an ugly face when saying it)
You must be prepared to bleach your hair, possibly a few times. This will allow your hair to be manipulated. Now, most times a hairstylist would use bleach to condition you for a new hair color, but in our case we want to prepare our hair in order to destroy all remnants of our past drug use history. If you can’t tell by now, your hair is going to hate you… For a long time.
Step By Step Hair Follicle Test Bleaching Tutorial
- Bleach Your Hair – Fairly simple, pick up some hair bleach solution at your local beauty supply, and follow their instructions. Usually it’s just a packet that gets dissolved in water.
- Strip The Follicle – Once you’ve turned you hair platinum, use a hair stripping agent, like this one. There are other reputable products, like Zydot, and Toxin Wash.
- Redye The Hair – To restore your naturally beautiful hair color, you may want to see a professional hair stylist. It may be obvious if you have a bad dye job, although I’ve never heard of a lab tech rejecting a submission to bad hairstyling.
- Test Yourself – There are hair testing products, it’s possible that you may even find some at your local walmart/walgreens.
- Rebleach/Strip – If you are really serious about the test, consider doing it twice to make sure.
Kind of intimidating right? Well if you find that method to be too involved or whatever, there is another method that has also been proven to work (albeit, usually only for lighter users).
Apple Cider Vinegar
Not only is it delicious(!), it also has the ability to help you pass your follicle test, if used correctly!
I personally prefer this method because it is less damaging, as well as a whole lot cheaper! Using bleach and a toxin stripper plus the cost of having your hair professionally redyed could equate up to a couple hundred bucks. Yikes.
Super Cheap And Easy Apple Cider Vinegar Hair Cleansing Method Tutorial
- Soak Your Head – Use the ACV and then place a shower cap on. Soak for 30 minutes.
- Clean and Clear – The acne astringent! Rub this is in together with ACV. Soak for another 30 minutes. It may burn so wipe away anything that may get near your eyes.
- Clean It Up! – Wash out all of the nastiness that you just put in, and then apply Liquid Laundry Detergent. Lather this up in your hair and scrub like your job depends on it. Leave it in for another 30 minutes and then wash it all out.
Simple, isn’t it?
Be advised that it may sting a little bit (okay, enough to start screaming ‘sonofa!’) when you follow this method.
Why Do These Methods Work?
To allow the stripping agents to attack the drug metabolites in your hair follicle, we first need to open up the cuticle so that we can get our little drug erasers in there to the cortex of the hair strand.
So imagine our little magical drug erasing guys trying to get into the strand, and to do so they need a basic compound to open the doors for them. The bases are described as having a ph level over 7, so common things like ammonia, bleach, or even baking soda could be used.
The magical drug erasing little scrubby guys are actually just acidic compounds, in the vinegar method an example would be the salicylic acid of the clean&clear astringent.
In theory you could practically use any base to effectively open up the strand and then rub in any acid into the cortex, where the drug info is stored. Wait, don’t quote me here! Please don’t put weird stuff in your hair if you aren’t a scientist.
The reason most of us use the two popular methods is because the are proven to work.
and not cause alopecia…
We should also take note of the fact that hair testing only shows narcotics that have had time to develop and grow past the scalp, which can be safely assumed as 5-7 days.
So in the unlikely and cruel case that you decided to prescribe yourself some drugs just one week before your boss popped a hair test on you, you still have to cleanse your hair.
Conversely, if you had finally chosen to partake of some friendly bud’s buds just 2 days before a test, and never before, you may actually get away scott-free.
Research Has Shown
That people who choose not to do drugs, don’t have shit to worry about when they are required to take any drug test, so please next time you know a test is coming up:
Discontinue Your Drug Use